Being Assertive.

I'm not really one for confrontation. I get on well with pretty much everyone I meet and I don't really like getting into conflict. But that doesn't mean that I let people walk all over me. I like to be able to see the best in people, but the reality is that while all of us are in possession of good and bad traits, sometimes some people seem to use more of their bad traits then they do of their good traits, and in times when you come across people like this it is important that you can stay assertive and stick up for yourself.

I've had to do this a few times today. I wasn't rude to the people, but I didn't let them take me for a fool either. I was in a shop that I wont name, trying to get my laptop sorted otu (I've been having some problems with my charger) and basically since I bought the laptop less than 21 days ago they are supposed to give me a replacement laptop, which they wernt doing. After a few phone calls from my father (who I have to admit was rather more irate at them than I was, I was being rather more placid) they eventually gave us what we asked for, and I'm sat here typing to you now on a new netbook.

Later on today I encountered another problem, an older man got on the bus and came and sat opposite me, I then noticed that he was blatently staring at me which I have to admit was making me feel rather uneasy. I treid to ignore him at first, I turned my music up and looked out of the window, but all the time I could feel his eyes on me, and to be perfectly honest as well as making me feel uneasy I was also becoming slightly annoyed because what right does he have to stare at me? Yes I am female, yes I do have a body and certain parts and no I'm not willing to share it with him, I do not dress before I go out with the intention of catching attention, I dress in pretty clothes because I like to wear pretty clothes, not so that creepy old guys can stare at me on a bus. Anyway, eventually I turned to him and (im not normally this nasty to people but thers just something I hate so much about being stared at, especially by old men) said "What the hell are you looking at?" Now I don't know whether the guy thought I was mute or what but he certainly didn't expect me to speak I dont think, and I shocked him out of staring at me, after I'd said that he diverted his attention out of the window and not at me.

Usually I'm pretty shy, so I'm glad I was able to do that, it does make me feel good sometimes to know that I can be assertive and I don't always have to do what other people tell me to do just because they tell me to do it, the thing is is that I am also human just as they are, they aren't any higher up than me even if they are older, I love being polite and getting on with people, but if I really do believe that something is wrong, then I'm happy to say I'm not afraid to say it. We don't have to be rude to people to be assertive (I know I was fairly rude to the man on the bus, but I have slight issues with being stared at, especially when I wasnt doing him any harm or in fact paying him any attention) but we can be assertive without being aggressive and I think thats important to remember, because often people think its two sides of the same coin but it's not.

Remember then, be asserive, you're human too, just like the person you're talking too and there isn't a readon that they have any right to always push you around!

Keep Smiling :)
Love, Tutti-Frutti
xxx