Its The Small Things In Life That Make A Difference.

While I waited for someone the other day for a meeting, I was lying on bean bags watching the sun shine through the leaves outside, it was like they had created a natural disco ball, and I imagined all the small animals outside that nobody really notices were having a huge party underneath the shimmering lights. 


The lady I went to see, had a conversation with me, she said I looked miles away, I told her quite simply that I was looking at the trees. We concluded that I was looking at the trees to recharge my batteries a little, I think then in that case that we should all spend time to look at the trees a little, because once in a while I think it is important that we all recharge our batteries. 


With this same lady (who I think is a wonderful person I have to add) we spoke about a lot of things, we were supposed to go into the art room like we normally do, but a fire alarm changed things a little, it was sunny so we went and sat on the grass, and I didn't tell her, but even sitting on the grass gave me more things to think about.


I was playing with the grass on the floor, and I thought about the feeling of it between my fingertips. Brushing gently, tickling slightly, ever so soft and gentle, and I learnt to love it, because I don't take notice of the feel of grass very often, and above all else I think that shames me, I live in a world full of it, so why have I spent so long taking little notice of it?


And I thought about the sky. It was a brilliant blue while we were out there the other day, it was warm out but we were part in shade so I shivered a little, but we were away from everywhere else, or at least it seemed as though we were, we had started on top of a hill, and when it got too hot had moved further down, I couldn't see the building behind us, or hear the cars, or see the road or any of the other people, it was just me and the lady I was with (who I trust with my life) and I was happy to sit an talk with her, anything else could have been going on in the world but there for that hour we wernt aware of it, which was kind of peaceful. I made the lady I was with look at the sunlight coming through the leaves before we left that spot, I made her realise how beautiful it was, because I'd been with her for an hour, and I don't think she had realised on any sort of conscious level until I told her directly to look at it. But anyway, back to the sky. It was brilliant blue, and there were random fluffy white candyfloss clouds making pictures in the sky. 


I remember once when I was little, this is one of the first memories I have, I was really small, we were in a car waiting for my dad to come out of a shop, and it was just me and my grandma, my brother and sister wernt born yet, and it was sort of tea time-ish but in the summer so still pretty light. My Grandma pointed it out to me, it was a cloud that looked like a giant in a bath tub, we could even make out where his arms were, and on one of them it looked like he was holding a sponge. I laughed, and spent ages looking at it, and from that moment always tried to look for pictures in clouds, I like staring at them, it makes me feel small, it makes me feel as if all of my problems are nothing in comparison with this huge universe, even those clouds in the sky, which are never going to be the same clouds twice, are taking up more of this universe than I am, so I dont have much reason to be scared anymore. After my Grandma had pointed that cloud out to me, I made a story about him in my head, I dreamt of that giant that night, and it's a dream which comes back to me often, even now though im in my teens, I still dream about that cloud giant in the bath. It reminded me of Jack and the Beanstalk, the story (one of many) which I begged for again and again before I went to bed, I settled myself readily with the idea that giants have big mansions in the sky, and that if i found the right beans I would make a stalk like Jacks and go and visit, but my giant would not grind my bones to make his bread, my giant was always nice, lonely but liked my company and I liked his, and the giant in the bathtub only made me believe it more.


I remember once aswell, being a bit older, walking home from school, I was feeling a little downhearted about an incident from school, and I happened to look up to the sky, and the cloud looked like an arm, with a hand at the end, it looked like a perfect hand, a helping hand (as I am prone to think as I have a mind that thinks in metaphors and always has done). I'm not religious, so I'm not going to say I thought it was the hand of god come to help me like it does in the simpsons, but it certainly gave me a little more hope than I'd had before, and it certainly made me smile.


Now, I'm thinking about the feel of sand on bare feet. How it dislodges between your toes, and makes it hard to get anywhere. How it feels warm, until you dig it up and get to where it is getting wet and colder.


And the feel of snow on your bare hands. The stinging sensation that takes your breath away. The silence that accompanies falling snow, everything is silent and peaceful. The look of freshly fallen snow, blinding, before anyone taints the snow on the ground with heavy footsteps, just when it is there, and untainted, untouched, pure and perfect. And when you do step in it, the crunch of it underneath your shoes. Last winter, I went out at 12.30am, and made snow angels, it was snowing, I could see the flakes fall from the sky in the light of the streetlamps. I had been ill, but none of that mattered, it didnt matter that I'd had a tough year, I was in the hear and now, making an angel in the snow. I took of my gloves, and placed both hands to the ground, and my handprints remained there for as long as the snow did, I wrote my name, and imagined that the image of it has been ingrained into someones memory as they walked by, and if they really put their minds to it, they'll remember the name that they saw written in the snow on the street as they walked by on that cold december day.


Have you held a baby this year? I have. and she pulled my glasses from my eyes, and then laughed as though it was the most hilarious joke in the whole universe! And I loved her for that, for pure untainted simpleness. For not wanting any more than finding pulling my glasses off hilarious. For not judging me for what I have been, for what I have done, but for watching how I am now and responding to that. For giving love so freely, without really wanting anything but love in return, a baby has the right view on life, and it's a shame that we lose that view as we get older, showing love becomes a more arduous process, it becomes harder for us to accept that we love someone, and slowly it gets forgotten, which is a massive massive shame.


What I'm trying to say is, notice the small things, feel the sand beneath your feet, or the snow on your hand,  hear the crash of the waves, or a babies cry, or a heartbeat, or a birdsong, or even hear the silence of falling snow. When you breath, think about breathing, about what it means to be breathing, about what it means to be here, here on the earth with these particular people at this specific time. Smile for no reason, just because you can. Or, when you next see the sun shine through the leaves, imagine the little animals that nobody notices are having a party, and join them, be thankful for the things you take for granted every day, and most of all:


Keep Smiling :)
Love, Tutti-Frutti
xxx

Things That Have Made Me Laugh- From Facebook (pages names)

Anyone familiar with facebook will know that there are many groups that can be joined that people post up new ones of every day, some of these Ive come across really made me giggle so I'm going to share them :)


1) "Being unhealthily frustrated at falling off rainbow road" (this wont make sense to those who haven't played this game on nintendo wii).
2) "I don't need school- my english can't get any gooder!"
3) "I wasnt that drunk........Dude, you were hugging some old guy with a beard screaming DUMBLEDORE YOU'RE ALIVE!"
4) "Dear life, when I said could my day get any worse, it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge."
5) "'what time is it?'   'The clock is right there!'   'Did I ask you where the clock was?'"
6) "Defeating the school bully after eating 10 petis filous"
7) "Typing 'LMAO' though your arse remains firmly attached" 
8) "Pushing open two doors at once and feeling like Aragorn"
9) "'I wasn't that drunk!'.......'Dude, you were standing in my fireplace yelling 'DIAGON ALLEY'"
10) "'I wasn't drunk'.....'Dude, you cut off your nose and yelled, 'WHERE'S POTTER!"
11) "Some crocodiles can grow up to 14 feet. But usually they only have 4!"
12) "I love summer in England. It's my favourite day of the year."
13) "Math is the only place I hear of someone doing ridiculous things. For example, 'John has 30 chocolate vars. He eats 23. What does he have now?' Diabetes maybe?"
14) "The names bond. Ionic bond. Taken not shared."
15) "Screaming, 'YOUR NOT MY REAL LADDER' at your step ladder."
16) "I love how in scary movies, the person yells out 'HELLO' As if the bad guy is just going to be like, 'Yeah I'm in the kitchen, want a sandwich?'"


Thats all for now guys :)


Keep Smiling
Love, Tutti-Frutti
xxx

Personality Types.

I've been looking recently into my personality type, for a bit of personal reflection, insight and enlightnement into the way that I am, why I am the way that I am and how I should interact with others to become the best that my personality will allow me to be. I've found out some interesting points, my personality seems to be a mix of a couple of things, including my star sign.

Firstly though, I looked at the personality classifications according to Jung and Meyers, and di a personality test based on their findings. Their proposal is that there are 16 variations of personality, the one that I fall under is the rarest of all the types (you can trust me to get this), only 1 to 3 percent of the population is thought to have this personality type and is called the INFJ type, otherwise known as Introverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Judging. More commonly seen in counsellors (helpful as thats what I want to go in to) psychologists ect or jobs which enable us to help people.

Traits of an INFJ
Gentle, caring, thinking, sensitive, deep and highly complex individuals. Incredibly intuitive, may know something without even knowing how they know it. Creative and artisitic, live in a world of hidden meanings. Put a lot of faith into instincts and intuition. People orientated, deeply concerned for human race as a whole, generally idealistic. Natural "dooers" aswell as thinkers, and naturally take on a lot of responsibility. May appear extroverted to some, but are natural introverts, the introvertedness usually being seen when they are hurt or confused, they withdraw into themselves, being dislikers of conflict. Also the introvertedness can be seen as a defense mechanism as they are incredibly emphatic towards others issues, to the extent where it can end up hurting them, so an introvertedness is a way of replenishing their systems and emotional well being. Can experience health problems readily when under a lot of stress. Must live in accordance with what they believe is right in their own value systems. Well attuned to an internal world of thoughts, emotions and fantasies. Communicate very well usually, and have very good linguistic skills, have very good expression by way of writing or other artistic traits.

Furthermore, I am a Leo, which also fits in some ways:

Traits of a Leo.
Natural cheerful tendancy and ability to show a brave face to the world at large. People tend to look up to Leos, they are very charismatic and caring people. Recognise we have a responsibility to others, particularly those who are shyer or are not as able as we are. Inclined to do rather too much and seemingly inexhaustible energy. Natural tendancy to look confident even when we may be very underconfident on the inside. Warm hearted and loving. Combination of bravery, altruism and protectiveness.  With an element of fire, this shows us as naturally warm, but fire is also doesnt plan its next move, it's illogical, like us who rely on intuition and instincts. With a key planet the sun, the sun which gives life to everything on earth, and we have a playful and loving nature.

Chinese year of the dog (1994) Traits.
A giving and compassionate personality. Offers kind words, support and advice. Listener, often knowing more about friends than friends know about us and sometimes themselves. Incredibly attentive, though in private akin to worrying a lot. Honest and trustworthy, strong ethics and morally kept. Honest and trustworthy and make loyal companions. Dislike becoming angry or agressive and seeing injustice. Held in high regard by their friends and rarely hold grudges.

Specifically I am a wood dog, the traits of which are as follows:
Well rounded, adaptable, flexible and laid back, but do prefer to be part of a group not being AS independent as other dogs. May seem shy at first but eventually become warm and affectionate and very loyal and loving. Its said dogs also make excellent counsellors and psychologists.

So in a nutshell, this is me. I'm happy that my personality traits across the board seem to point to me going into counselling ect, because that is where I have wanted to end up for years now. I'm impressed with finding out more about myself, I think it is a demise that we all should do for personal enlightenment.

Keep Smiling :)
Love, Tutti-Frutti
xxx

Sobering though this may be, I have to mention it.

This post is not my usual happy smiley posts. This is a subject that reached out to millions, touched the lives of millions, even those of us (like myself) who were at the time so young, and so small, and so far away from it all. I'm sure those of you reading will already have guessed what I'm talking about, but I'll say it anyway:


Tomorrow, 11th September 2011, is the tenth anniversary of the day when the twin towers in New York were hit by terrorist bombers, destroying literally millions of lives. 


I feel I would be neglecting my duty as a caring human being if I didn't put up a post in honor of those wonderful people, who lost their lives trying to save others. Obviously I'm speaking of the emergency services, the policemen, the firemen, the paramedics, all did fabulously. But also civilians  helping other people in need, and being pulled together through what I certainly regard as one of the worst and biggest travesties of the 20th century. 


I was 7 years old when the towers were hit in 2001. We'd just started a new term. I remember my mother coming to pick me up from school, I noted the soberness on the faces of all of the adults around me, they spoke in hushed voices, they looked upset, and something didn't feel right. My mother told me that the twin towers in America had been hit by 2 planes, and that it was all over the news. I didn't understand at first, it meant nothing to me, I didn't even really know what the twin towers were, and then we got home, and I saw for myself what she meant. I watched in horror as they played the repeated images of the planes hitting the towers, and of the towers falling. But worse than that were the people, we noted with utter terror the people throwing themselves from the windows of the world trade center, and witnessed their chilling falls to the floor, and cried at the impossible position in which they found themselves, and the awful predicament they left their families in. Worst of all, for my 7 year old mind, was the peoples faces, I didn't understand what a terrorist attack was, I didn't understand why people had hijacked the planes and thrown them in to the world trade centers (I still don't understand to be honest), but I had an inkling of the impact it made on the American people, all over the news their ash covered faces were spread, all of them crying, and there was a look of utter loss and desolation, they looked like people who could never be repaired, who's worlds had literally, crumbled down around them, and even to me at that small age, I cried as I watched them. 


It's been 10 years, and I never get used to those images, they still chill me to the core each and every time that I see them, they still manage to make me cry. Just recently, I happened to come across a recording of a man who was high up in one of the towers when it fell, the mans name was Kevin Crosgrove, it was a heart wrenching thing to listen to, and the phone cuts off when the tower falls, and from that we know his fate, and it makes me sob to hear it, I heard it once and it stayed with me, and I think will for the rest of my life. And this is me, I dont even live in NY and it had a profound effect on me, and so to everyone in America who had loved ones die in this terrible event, my thoughs are with you, all the time but especially tomorrow.


On a brighter note, I think America should be proud of how far they've come in 10 years, They have shown the opposition that they are not scared, a point that was made so well by talk of another world trade center, they carried on fighting when they could have quite as easily gone down, and stopped fighting, but they fought for a country with people worth fighting for. And though it seemed hopeless 10 years ago, and the scars wont ever go away, families are still in pain over the people they lost, theres some hope to find in the way as a country America has pulled through.


A minutes silence for those killed during 9/11, brave soldiers, never forgotten and never truly gone.


I know its hard sometimes but


Keep Smiling
Love, Tutti-Frutti
xxx

Autumn :D

When you step out in the morning, and feel a chill in the air, that temporarily takes your breath, autumn is coming.
When the leaves on the trees transform, magically into reds and oranges and golds, as though the angels themselves have flown down and painted them, autumn is coming.
When the trees shiver against the wind, and the leaves dance and twirl gracefully to the ground, like ballet dancing fairies, autumn is coming.
When they settle on the ground, a gigantic auburn carpet, that crackles beneath your feet with each step you take, autumn is coming.
When the nights draw in fast, and the darkness takes you by surprise, autumn is coming. Do not be afraid of the falling darkness, for it comes with autumn, it accompanies the dancing leaves and the shivering trees, it accompanies the breathtaking beauty, the colours, and though it's cold outside, autumn can warm your heart to the core if you let it.


Keep Smiling :)
Love, Tutti-Frutti
xxx

Funny Quirky Things I've Read Today.

So I was feeling a little bored earlier and I started to look up some things on the internet and found some funny quotes ect which I simply feel like sharing.

1) (highlighting the importance of adequate spelling!) "You're like a rainstorm while I am standing in a dessert"-How sentimental, your other half is standing in a cake. :)
2) (From a blog written for psychology graduates) "Whilst chewing on a pen in class- Shut up Freud sometimes a penis.....damn" If you need the explanation for this, highlight the words between the astrixs *Freud suggested that pretty much all of the things we do are somehow linked to sexual fantasys, things phallic ie a pen or a pencil that can be seen as phallic for penis ect, also there was coined the term Freudian slip whereby a person makes a mistake in the words they come out with because that is waht their unconscious is really telling them, thats pretty much what the previous comment is taking the piss out of, there was the phallic in the pen, and the slip in them saying "penis" instead of pen is.*
3) (someones real insurance claim stated) "an invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car, then vanished!"
4) (and another, ive got a few funny insurance claims)- "I had been driving forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident (I'd get pretty tired after forty years too to be honest!).
5) "My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle"
6) "The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him" (The use of that comma reforms this whole sentence and makes it sound awful, grammar always helps people!)


Thats enough for a bit :)


Keep Smiling
Love, Tutti-Frutti
xxx

Just a Little Giggle.

I have an amazing and fantastic little brother who is 10 years old. He's been staying at my Grandmas this weekend and he wrote a letter to Dr Who whilst he was there concerning their recent episode, it reads:

Dear Dr Who. I am confused. In your recent episode Mel says, "Lets kill Hitler" but all you do is put him in a cupboard?

I nearly died laughing when I read it, he's perfectly right of course, Mel does say Lets kill Hitler, and in reality the doctor saves him from being killed, and then sticks him into a cupboard, so I guess that is a little confusing. :)

I love kids, they come out with some of the best things in the world, and my brother is a good un!

Keep Smiling :)
Love, Tutti-Frutti
xxx

Freedom Festival (September 2011)

Basically yesterday was amazing :) And I'm going to write about the amazing day that I had yesterday.

I've been staying with Grandma and so been really well looked after. And where I used to live they hold this festival in September called Freedom Festival, as the name suggests the events are free, only food and drinks and very few events cost anything. And the atmosphere is amazing, but I digress, I'll tell you about it in chronological order.

So, I got up pretty early, and Grandma bought me McDonalds breakfast which was lovely (albeit bad for me but once in a while never harmed anyone). And then we got on the bus (in a fasion anyway, Grandma banged her head on the bus wong mirror and knocked it out of place so the bus driver had to go and move it back! I laughed like mad but it came back on me- as we were getting off the bus I stood up fast and cracked my head on the roof of the bus!

We went to the most amazing art exhibition I have ever seen. It was called Mirazozo and it was this huge inflatable thing and when you walk inside it it looks a bit like a maze and its dead easy to get lost, but everything is lit up, its all in lights! and theres soothing music as you go along it and there are little pods that you can just sit down in and relax for a while :)

From there we went and had dinner while we watched Toy Story 3 which was being streamed on the big screen in the centre, the atmosphere was lovely. It was sunny and warm and I love the Toy Story films, and all around there was children playing and familys together and it was just the nicest feeling.

Then we wandred around the city centre for a bit, watching dancers and singers and irish folk songs live which was fantastic. I bought a wrist band that says the dates of the festival to remind me of the day (like i was going to forget it).

We went and bought tea and I bumped into a couple of friends which was lovely, and then we went back to the place where the films were being streamed in time to watch Mamma Mia which was amazing as everyone was singing along and dancing. Then after Mamma Mia there was an Abba Tribute band who were really good and had a lot of milkshakes (I had a nutella milkshake which was lovely, but then I tried Irish Cream and kept having those after that because they were addictive). After the Abba tribute band the big screen played Greese, and the atmosphere was just amazing, everyone was dancing and singing and when greese lightning came on everyone was hyped to the extreme!

Then later we went to another art exhibition thing which was sort of tribal, they were on big platforms dancing to tribal music and painting onto squares and they made some fantastic pictures! Very prominent, they all had messeges, but they were amazing. 

After this we were very tired

but in good spirits all the same, we walked home seeing a fancy dress party with an oompa loompa and beetleguese, it was hilarious.

All in all its been a fantastic time yesterday :) I loved every second.

Keep Smiling :)

Love, Tutti-Frutti

xxx

Being Me :D

I wear odd socks deliberately. I laugh at things that other people don't even find at all amusing. I cry hard at films both in happy points and sad. I love Glee, High School Musical and Lemonade Mouth. And on the flip side of the coin, I love My Chemical Romance and Paramore, aswell as all the mainstream stuff you hear in the charts. I prefer reading to watching the television. I like my yorkshire puddings with chocolate spread, and my cucumber with tomato sauce. I like looking at things upside down. And when I'm outside I'm always bumping into things because usually I'm looking up at the sky instead of looking at my surroundings like most people do. I don't go out an awful lot (though I do sometimes). I sing too loudly and far too much. I dont care how old I get, Disney films will always remain my favourite films. I talk to everyone regardless of who they are and where I've found them. If you piss me off, you'll sure as hell know it. Dr Seuss said "You're you, now isn't that pleasant". I don't like everything about myself, there is a lot that I would change, but there's a lot that I cant change and so I learn to accept it. I refuse to be a clone of everyone else, I'm me and the truth of the matter is, no matter how crazy and strange and socially deviant we are, someone out there will always be willing to accept us despite it. And so knowing this, I'm going to continue being me! The people who dont like it-fine! I cant be everyones cup of tea (or coffee, or glass of wine or whatever people drink nowadays). I'd rather be me and happy, than be them and be unhappy.

Keep Smiling :)
Love, Tutti-Frutti
xxx